Thursday, 13 January 2022

The Enigma Of Rik Mayall


Who really was Rik Mayall?? To this day no one will actually be able to tell you out of all the memorable characters he invented which one comes closest to the real man.
The famous funnyman starred as the the self-styled Redditch reporter Kevin Turvey who lived with his mother in A Kick Up The Eighties and the mocumentary Kevin Turvey – The Man Behind The Green Door in 1982. His portrayal of Redditch's own Kevin Turvey saw the reporter searching for scoops around the borough, taking him to the ring road, the water tower in Headless Cross and on the pitch at the Valley Stadium. Kevin’s tour de force is a long, intricately plodding monologue about His Average Day. He gets up very late and goes down to Tesco, where he buys some cornflakes, which he then takes home and puts into a plate before sitting down at a table with the flakes in front of him... etc. 'I was just sitting there eating my cornflakes. I don’t know how many I had had. Fifteen, sixteen, maybe. I wasn’t counting.


Then in The Young One's Rick was a self proclaimed anarchist in,but in reality he was a spoilt brat only child fan of Cliff Richard! Rick is in his early twenties, sporting short untidy brown hair [sometimes featuring a plait] and a spotty complexion. He habitually wears a black blazer with various anti-establishment pin badges attached to it, and trousers that are far too short for him.  Personality & Lifestyle  Rick is depicted as a petulant, egotistical, self-serving, tantrum-throwing, hypocritical young man who proclaims himself to be an anarchist. Like the rest of the main cast, he is a student of the fictional Scumbag College, although is never seen actually attending any lessons or lectures. 


He is an attention-seeker and frequently seeks to be the centre of attention amongst his friends by trying, and failing, to be humourous. In "Bambi" his attention-seeking becomes so extreme that he attempts to kill himself in front of Vyvyan and Mike by consuming a large amount of pills he finds in a bottle on top of the fridge. Vyvyan points out moments later that Rick is in fact eating laxative pills. Like his Bottom character, Rick is a virgin, making him the focus of regular taunting by his insane flatmate Vyvyan. This does not stop him bragging about alleged sexual encounters he has had. His lack of experience becomes apparent when, at a house party attended by a group of girls, he routes through one of their handbags and takes out what he believes to be a toy mouse; the small white object turned out in fact to be a tampon.   

His relationship with Vyvyan is very similar to the dynamic of Richie and Eddie, with the two at odds which each other almost all the time, usually resulting in violent physical assault. Over the course of twelve episodes, Vyvyan is seen to poke, prod, punch, stab and hit Rick with all manner of household objects, including planks of wood, a cricket bat and a hammer. In one violent encounter, Vyvyan tries to kill him with a Howitzer machine gun.  
Like his Bottom counterpart, Rick is a fantasist and brags about things and experiences he has never actually taken part in, often failing to maintain his lies resulting in ridicule, ridicule from the rest of the cast. He believes himself to be very attractive, successful and has a wildly distorted view of his own self-importance. He claims to be studying sociology, however mentions that he is studying domestic sciences as well. He is also an aspiring poet, and is seen to compose poems on a small tatty piece of paper, before quoting them to the rest of the housemates, although most of the time none of them pay any attention. Despite his apparent literacy, he has trouble reading the newspaper and admits that he, like Vyvyan, is unable to tell the time.  

Rick maintains an anti-Thatcherite disposition, and often goes into long rants about his opinion of the British institution, the Conservative Government and the state of the UK as a whole. He perceives himself to be a revolutionary in the face of the government, however appears to have little understanding of the causes he claims to fight and protest against. In "Summer Holiday" it is revealed that he was born to upper class left-wing parents, and is an only child. He claims to be a vegetarian, an agnostic, and wishes all men to love each other like brothers, apart from Neil, who he hates.   

He looks down on Neil and dismisses him simply as a "stupid bloody hippy." Like the rest of the household, he ignores Neil for most of the time, even when Neil is trying to tell him, Mike and Vyvyan that he has decided to kill himself. His relationship with Mike however is more amicable, as he appears to admire him and always tries to impress him. Rick suffers from rhoticism - a speech impediment which prevents the speaker from properly pronouncing the letter 'R.' He may in fact have a fetish for transvestism, when Neil finds a woman's dress in his wardrobe with his name stitched on the label. 


Sex-obsessed, inappropriate, petulant, socially awkward and possibly insane; Richard "Richie" Richard lives to pursue only one thing - getting someone to "do it" with him. In the first chapter of Richie's depraved trip down misery lane, he is returning home from an unsuccessful trip to the Lamb & Flag with his equally depraved best pal Eddie, where his excessive use of 'gonad-enhancers' failed to impress any of the female patrons. Although notably more sure of himself, Eddie's attempts to score are equally disastrous.  But the night is young, and after a brief brainstorming session in the world of lonely hearts ads, the discovery of a revolutionary new pheromone sex-spray leads Richie and his only friend to the local sex shop and back to the pub. After trying it on with two uninterested lesbians, an unprovoked assault on a condom machine and a whack in the face by the local hard-knock, so begins Richie's magnum opus of nob-gags, double-entendre, frying pan frivolity and violent testicular distortion.


Then theres the megalomaniac Alan B'Stard is a sociopath and throughout the series it is revealed that he has only gotten as far as he has because of his frequent lying, backstabbing and scheming. He is selfish, sadistic, arrogant, self-obsessed, lecherous and greedy. He is obsessed with making money, even if it means acquiring it through criminal means, and he is not limited to attempting murder to do it.  Marriage & Relationships  He is married to long-suffering wife Sarah B'Stard, a marriage of convenience based on the mutual benefit it brings them both. Sarah because of Alan's wealth, and Alan because Sarah's father is the leader of the local Tory Party and holds his seat in gift. 

Throughout the series both Alan and Sarah are seen cheating on each other with various people, and it is revealed early on that Sarah is bisexual. Sarah's ultimate goal is to kill Alan so that she can live off his inheritance.  Alan is obsessed with sex and is not limited to paying for it to suit his needs. He greatly overestimates his sexual prowess and is often seen beginning the act only for him to reach climax only seconds later, a fact he is not at all bothered about. He views his premature ejaculation as a sign of virility. He has been accused of having sex with minors (off-screen) and this has made its way to the press, with Alan hitting back and successfully suing The Times for slander. In "Three Line Whipping" he is seen attending a brothel and becoming excited at the prospect of whipping a prostitute. The prostitute misunderstands the situation and ends up beating him senseless with the whip, leaving serious injuries all over his back and bottom.





His schemes are wide-ranging, but typically encompass the acquisition of wealth, sex, property and prestige. His adventures have been known to bring him close to death, particularly where he has become embroiled in the affairs of international governments. In "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" he is implied to have caused a car accident between the Labour and Liberal candidates for Haltemprice, leading to him securing a majority vote and therefore becoming the MP for Haltemprice. He was not completely thorough in his plan though, as he immediately comes under the suspicion of Sir Malachi Jellicoe, the Chief Constable of East Yorkshire Police. Jellicoe is corrupt however, and offers to cease the investigation in exchange for Alan's political influence, which he intends to use to pass a law that would arm the police. 

Alan is successful in getting the law passed, despite resistance from strong political figures such as Bob Crippen and the Bishop of Haltemprice. Alan later realises that Jellicoe is in fact, insane, and has been having delusions of God and intends to criminalise Atheism. Alan concocts a plan to out Jellicoe as a lunatic, and convinces him that the Bishop of Haltemprice is the Devil. Jellicoe tries to kill the Bishop, but is pounced on by police, whom Alan had tipped off.  

In "Passport To Freedom," he successfully prevents Sarah from divorcing him by destroying her financial stake in Ocelot Motors, by forging a letter from the Prime Minister detailing plans to de-unionise the industry and reduce wages. The fallout causes Sarah's shares to dwindle to almost nothing, making it impossible for her to afford the divorce.  In "Sex Is Wrong" Alan tries to make money out of a pornographic book by playing to the ideals of a feminist author.  

In "Waste Not, Want Not" Alan's past catches up with him when Norman discovers that the council plan to demolish an old lockup in Hull where Alan once dumped a large amount of radioactive waste before the Falklands War. He hatches a plan to relocate the waste to an abandoned mine.