REVIEW: Frank Sidebottom's Masterpiece Comedy Album '5:9:88'

Review by filmmaker Blimp Chopsocky

This album is a comedic masterpiece of storytelling, bitter disagreements, mixed with incredible pop songs and inevitably it's been compared to The Beatles 'White Album'. Opening up with The Robins Aren’t Bobbins, a tribute to Frank’s favourite football team, Altrincham FC, it's an anthemic heart-tugging anthem that rivals The Lightning Seeds '3 Lions'. Frank's debut LP features remarkably funny aggressive arguments between Frank & Little Frank interspersed with the songs. Musically, the sound has developed from the basic weirdness of the earlier recordings to feature a band playing oddball-drum and distorted guitars, and conceptually the story is a lot more casual, with Frank and Little Frank searching through tapes to put on the album, finding songs and sketches from his Radio Timperley and Frank’s World shows.

There’s a cover of Abba’s SOS by Little Frank and the Demon Axx Warriors from Oblivion, the glam rock stomp of Timperley Travelogue and the epic album closer Electricity, which actually reveals a genuine pop songwriting talent beneath all the strangeness.

There's also interviews with Patrick Moore, Nicholas Parsons and Ian McCaskill. There’s a multi-track distraction that sees Frank and Little Frank heading into space before heading back down to Earth to deal with money debts, visits from Mr Emerson Lake, disastrous babysitting for Mrs Merton and visits to football matches (cue 6 All Time Great Footballing Chants). There are also also surreal sketches like The Squid is Correct, Pirates, First Puppet on the Moon which reveals the complicated relationship of Little Frank & Little Buzz Aldrin about colonising the moon for Timperley, which eventually drives Frank to violence in the studio shed.

The songs include Mr Custard You’re a Fool (a lyrical masterpiece!), Airplay, Paul McCartney tribute It Was Nearly 20 Years Ago Today, rap song I Said ‘Hey You Street Artist’ (plus variant version I Said ‘Hey You, Riot Policeman’) and weird heavy space rock number Ultimatum to Return. Anyway here's the whole album's story:

Frank welcomes the listeners to the album, then Little Frank knocks on the door, he asks Frank if he can be on the album but Frank sternly says ''NO you cant be on my show-biz album!!''. They then start to sort through Frank's box of cassette tapes of radio episodes. Frank tells Little Frank that ''he makes him sick!'' as they sort through 'Radio Timperley', 'Franks World'. 'Star Interviews', & 'Potato Time' episodes.

Zoo Scrapbook is a perfect children's song with distorted guitars and a sing-along nursery rhyme chorus. Frank listens to some Answering Machine Messages where a friend tells him about a band called ''the chip muffin minstrels''and invites him to a gig, but Little Frank warns him about going behind his managers back, but Frank doesnt care cose ''he can manage himself''.

They find a Radio Timperley tape about The Tomb of Maurice Karman talking about Egyptian tombs and an ancient curse. Frank finds 6 pairs of underpants and reads the chilly curse he sees on the tombs wall. Frank then tells Little Frank to fetch his puppet pal's so they can record some new songs, Little Franks girlfriend Denise has lost her head so she cant sing. Frank then explains how he wrote Mr Custard after watching a movies about General Custer fighting the Indian's. On the song he calls Mr Custard, Red Indians & Mike Tyson ''fools'', but at least Tyson ''is a millionaire''.

They carry on listening to 'Franks World' tapes which leads into The Squid Is Correct, where contestants have to guess song titles, and Little Frank win's the grand prize of going to Hollywood to direct an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies. After that Little Frank leaves to pick up his puppet pals after Frank calls his fans ''fickle'' and ''the past is the past, you have to look at the future''. 

It Was Nearly 20 Years Ago Today is a song about Paul McCartney writing songs in Scotland inspired by Linda, whom he taught how to play the synthesizer for Wings. Side B starts with a Brooklyn inspired rap about graffiti Street Artist. Little Frank then turns up without his puppet pal's because Mrs Merton has asked Little Frank to look after her baby Reginald for 50 pence. They read up on how to look after babies, but Frank slaps the baby because he is too quiet, but then wont stop crying. Frank teaches the baby how to crawl but baby Reginald falls through a hole in the shed.

Pirates is the next Radio Timperley story about them drinking run on a ship at sea as Little Frank fetches the dangerous prisoner ZZ Top Beard. They then land on an island wanting some 'nosh' but the fish fingers have fallen in the sea. They meet a Zulu warrior king and ask to trade some bananas for a tape machine. A Fantastic Sea Shanty erupts about a salty sea dog. Then the next Star Interview starts with astronomer Patrick Moore about black holes and infinite space. Then a sudden flashback starts about the First Puppet On The Moon, while Ultimatum To Return is an incredibly deep trippy Pink Floyd track with an intergalactic feel. 

Airplay is one of the hookyest, sunniest tracks on the album and should have been a 1# Hit single, it's about Frank turning on the radio and hearing one of his songs on. It's pure morning pop genius. Little Frank then lies to his girlfriend that he's the boss and Frank is his sidekick, and that he actually wrote Abbas SOS, which is a great unique interpretation of the song. Big Frank Blasts Off and then returns concluding the flashback, but he is now furious to find out that Little Frank has been saying he's his sidekick. Frank then punches Buzz Aldrin in the face several times in the shed after having permission from NASA to punch him.

Frank & Little Frank decide to play Monopoly which reveals Frank as a power crazed puppeteer. Frank's manager then pop's in to visits them and tells Frank off for not finishing the album because they are on a deadline, Frank then goes on to improvise the Monopoly Song which his manager enjoys. Money Problems is about how his manager makes Frank's career decisions by tossing a 1966 coin, which Frank is impressed by and his manager leaves.

At this point Frank cant find his money to go to the cinema so he decides to swindle Little Frank by playing a rigged game of Roulette, they play the game and Little Frank gets 3 Lucky number 7's in a row, winning lots of money, plus Frank finds out Little Frank now has a record deal. On Football & Weather they argue about whether or not to go and watch the football because it's raining. An interview with weather-man Ian McCaskill pops up. On Mr E Lake his friend Emmo visits Frank and tells him that he cant go to the match because he has to stock-take lard, and gives them his VIP tickets to the match. 

Timperley Travelogue is one of the best songs on the album, a proper glam stomper about visiting Timperley ''all the time''. Anyway off they walk to the football match, and you can hear the fans singing Franks bobbins song, Frank tells Little Frank not to cause any violence at the football match. Hey Riot Policeman is about asking a policeman if he's got the time, because he has to catch a bus to the hospital because he's been hit on the head and is bleeding. The boys are now in the football grounds and 6 All Time Great Footballing Chants is about just that, getting the fans to chant ''nil, nil' and ''you're going home in an organized football coach!'', ''there's only one Little Frank'' and the fans start asking little Frank for autographs. Sue Of The Sioux is a tribal post-punk goth song with shades of stadium era Simple Minds harmonies. 

Leaving the football stadium they run into Roger & Sarah who tell's Frank that he's in trouble because he's forgotten to return Mrs Merton's baby. Sarah suggests that they use one of her dolls, but Frank's got better ideas. I've Got Something To Shout About is a quick cosy sentimental song. They go to Mrs Meron's door with a cardboard ''trendy baby'' disguised as Reginald. Mrs Merton reveals that baby Reginald has come home by himself drunk on Shandy, she offers to forgive Frank if he plays her his interview with TV presenter Nicholas Parsons, who tells Frank he talks too fast. The Puppets Arrive for a singalong about a 'fantastic barber shop' where they do Paul McCartney haircuts and can cut off your ears. 

At this point the puppets tell Frank his showbiz-album is bobbins because there's no 40 piece orchestra, but Frank reveals that in fact they are in the kitchen getting ready for the big finale. Electricity is a huge anthemic send off to the album about Frank not having paid his mom's electric bill, so he tries to fix the problem by going to the Norweb store but they are closed. His mum send him up to his room without any supper or cereal & Frank misses his favourite TV Shows such as Neighbours (with Kyle Minogue) Star Trek, Top Of The Pop's and Tomorrows World. Frank dreams of throwing himself out his bedroom window, but instead he sneaks down the drain pipe and goes around the corner to his friend Emmo's house to watch the TV programs there.

As the long finale continues Frank complains to Little Frank that nothing works without electricity, ultimately he pulls the plug on his own recording. But the albums last wise words go to Little Frank ''electric bills sort themselves out, but old bills never die''.

Recorded in my shed and kitchen

Hello fantastic fans.....on this double length tape are over 101 minutes of ace show biz things like...them fabulous songs, a brilliant flashback to my puppet moonshot, some classic radio broadcasts, a top interview or two, and a few changes and mixes which you won't find on the disc version of this double LP! Well...I don't think there's any more to mention...so from me THANK YOU for buying this tape.

HEART OF DARKNESS [Film Review] – Loon (2017)

I wish I could say no persons were harmed in the making of this film, but that would be a lie.  The director was stabbed with a fork. Then, in addition to sustaining some scrapes and bruises from a particularly physical scene, the lead actor was admitted into a mental institution shortly after filming.

Now, make no mistake, I say this not with derision, but with understanding. I myself have stayed at so many mental institutions in my adult life, I could probably rate their menus for Zagat’s. (By the way, don’t ever order the macaroni and cheese at Rush in Chicago. Sometimes they make it with decent shell noodles, and sometimes they just make that powdered-cheese shit from the box. You won’t know until you get it, and by then it’ll be too late.)

It’s kind of an interesting story how I was given an advance viewing of Loon to begin with, and I suppose we have the late-and-great Syd Barrett of Pink Floyd to thank for that. It was through a Facebook group dedicated to the music of Syd that I first began talking to the film’s creator and director, Fabrizio Federico. I’m not sure exactly why he decided to accept a friend request from a weird American blonde girl on the internet who wears too much eyeliner in her profile pictures, but for some reason he did – and here we are.

At first I didn’t even think that was his real name. I thought it resembled that of Italian filmmaker Federico Fellini so closely, it had to be pseudonym. But no, to the best of my knowledge, Fabrizio is indeed a real person. If anything he’s the Anti-Fellini, about as far away from the chic and scintillating high-society classics as a filmmaker could possibly be.

When I viewed his previous works, I got the impression that – and I mean this in a good way – they were filmed on an acid trip (which is no surprise, considering how I found him on a Syd Barrett page.) It didn’t take me long to find out that Fabrizio abhors any kind of imposed structure. He won’t even use scripts, which to me (with my stringent, classically-trained literary sensibilities) was unthinkable. Quite honestly, I never would have thought a completely improvised film could possibly be as good as Loon is.

The opening credits feature a jarring, discordant instrumental theme by the band Mao. Actually, the band recorded the entire musical score at Aleister Crowley’s allegedly-haunted Boleskine House on the shores of Loch Ness, wherein Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin also resided for some time. Even if you’re not the kind of person who believes in ‘vibes’ or ‘energy’, the otherworldly background themes will seem to echo from whichever spirit realm you may or may not believe in.

From the first scene – which turns out to be an idle teenager’s experiment with autoerotic asphyxiation – you will be uncomfortable, even disturbed. And you should be. That’s the whole point. Then, after the first few nightmarish images, you’ll be introduced to an 18-year-old English kid named Charlie.

The interesting thing about Charlie is that he is, with no disrespect, psychologically afflicted in real life as well as the film; but he plays a fictionalized version of himself as he goes about his normal(ish) routine. Actually, none of the characters were professional actors. They were just people in Charlie’s everyday life who consented to being filmed in their natural habitat, you could say.

But then isn’t it just reality TV? Or a documentary? Well, no. I believe (and correct me if I’m wrong) that reality TV is often carefully scripted, rehearsed, and molded unto what the intended viewers supposedly want to see.

For that same reason, most documentaries are meticulously edited to make some thesis statement, usually in order to appeal to an audience of a certain ideology, usually political.

No, Loon has no target audience. It has no point to prove, no statement to make, and no didactic school of thought to promote. The film exists only to offer a glimpse into one man’s troubled mind, so that his screams don’t die unheard. It recognizes no politics except for maybe Thomas Hobbes’ state of nature.

Still, the background track resounds with newscasts from the recent terrorist attacks on British soil, grounding the film solidly in the present. Doom-saying news anchors, as they calmly describe acts of violence and disorder, merely echo the pandemonium raging in the confines of Charlie’s mind. The macrocosm is marginalized, and the microcosm is brought to the forefront. To put it simply, compared to Charlie’s drawn-out mental breakdown, global terrorism is merely an afterthought.

In contrast, the film has its lighter moments. It features the comical Dismaland, an amusement park parody of Disneyland that is actually a large-scale art installation. It features frowning personnel, bleak scenery, and underwhelming rides such as a spinning mobile home. And yes, this is a real-world place that actually exists. It also concretely illustrates how even the happy-ish moments in Charlie’s life are laden with despair. 

Still, Charlie proves himself to be endearing, even adorably charismatic. You may laugh and shake your head at his antics or deride his immaturity; but you might also secretly hope that he’ll succeed in his naïvely unrealistic pursuits.

At first, it might seem like the antagonist is life itself - until it takes the form of Charlie's psychopathic nineteen-year-old cousin. I'm told she's also a psychopath in real life, which even further blurs the distinction between the film's characters and the real people involved. In the story, Character-Charlie's feelings for her are anything but appropriate. Unfortunately, she is too preoccupied with dildos of a certain ethnicity (also a true-to-life detail) to reciprocate the attraction, leaving Charlie frustrated and unfulfilled in nearly every aspect of his life. Still, his youthful enthusiasm is undeterred. Perhaps it's a fortunate coincidence that the entire film is shot in black-and-white, and therefore uncannily reminiscent of another monochromatic character named Charlie. There's something sadly Chaplin-esque about our Charlie's doomed optimism, oblivious to the cruel joke that the universe itself seems to be playing on him.   

Unfortunately, the real Charlie's misfortune didn't just end when they finished shooting. I don't know the exact details of his real-life condition (into which Fabrizio never inquired, in order to remain impartial and unprejudiced while filming). Even if I did, I wouldn't disclose the nature of his illness out of respect for Real-Charlie's privacy and that of his family. If you're an especially sensitive person, I suppose you could argue that the entire film is unethical and exploitative of mental illness. Yet, speaking as a mentally ill person myself, I don't think that's the case. All who participated in this project did so of their own free will, and knowingly consented to be filmed. (Except for the guy who stabbed Fabrizio with a fork; he was left out as per his own forcefully-expressed wishes.)

That being said, I'm going to break my own taboo on emotional involvement to say that I really am concerned for Real-Charlie's well-being. I'll say what people are supposed to say; that I wish Charlie the best in his treatment and recovery, and extend my sympathy to him and his family; and I do. But anyone who's really been through hell knows those words don't mean shit. No amount of encouragement and well-wishing will ever be enough to free someone who's being held captive by their own mind. I doubt Charlie will ever read this in real life, and even if he does, I'd be the worst possible person to offer any kind of advice on dealing with demons I can barely deal with in my own life. All I could tell him is the same thing I tell myself: Never stop fighting. When life kicks you down, get up and kick it right back. (Of course, I haven't lived long enough to tell if that actually works, but I suppose I'll find out eventually).

All subjectivity aside, however, I do believe this is a film of considerable merit. It's as brilliant as it is dark and melancholy. I don't believe anyone's made a better film on a budget of £100, which translates roughly to $200. Yes, two-hundred dollars, you read that correctly.

"Perks of working with real people," the filmmaker told me. "I just paid for the food and they were happy."

Other than that, he wouldn't reveal much about the film itself. When I asked him if my interpretation of the Ouija Board scenes was correct, his cryptic reply was, "It's multi-layered, so anything goes."

I still think my theory is the best possible one, and anyone who thinks otherwise can fight me with the nearest kitchen utensil. (No, I'm just being facetious; don't actually do that.)

Regardless of my personal interpretation of the story, it took me a while to characterize the nature of the film as a whole. It exists as neither completely real nor as a work of pure fiction. So far, I've observed similar habits only in other Millennial writers who insist on throwing time-honored conventions in the garbage and setting them on fire, for better or worse. The most fitting term I could give it is Oblique Realism, for the way it rides a thin, crooked line between reality and fiction.

And no, that's not actually a thing. But maybe it should be.  

That being said, I’m not sure who would be more qualified to give Loon (as in, British slang for a crazy person, not the bird) a proper analysis: a professional film critic, or a licensed clinical psychiatrist. Instead, you’ll have to settle for the perspective of a twenty-something female writer of horror-fantasy fiction, so I hope that won’t be a problem. (But if it is, I don’t apologise.)

Film Review by

A. Tamara Ware

Pregnant - Directed by Fabrizio Federico: 2015 Review

"Pregnant"(2015)

Adam Legshy

In Fabrizio Federico’s previous film, Black Biscuit the main character of the highly strung man-child named Chet, who was intent on ‘’making it’’ as an aspiring independent filmmaker, by fighting through the haze of his hustler, sex driven, narcotically depraved friends - who all posses no ambitions in life, seems to have come true, especially since the character was played by the director himself. In Pregnant, Federico’s second feature film, he navigates us through todays social media generation of our brand new and highly unpredictable young 21^st Century.

Federico’s films resemble a Robert Altman cast of the lost and grotesque of society. Dreamy characters we see in our own social circles and families. Protagonists and themes dip in & out of the film at random, whenever the mood strikes them ‘’there isn’t  any main character, just a crowd of lost souls. I wanted it to be unreliable like life’’ Federico says.  Pregnant’s plot revolves around a stranger putting a mysterious VHS tape into a video player and pressing play. In that respect the film is a journey through this themed mixtape of scenes depicting the wasted world of lost souls chained to their laptops, bored anarchists, a desert drifter slowly dying of thirst, a drug soaked clubland shaman, and a burnt out psychedelic  crazy diamond philosopher. This society devoid of any careerism or ambition mixed within scenes that teleport us alongside vivid euphoric gap sequences of bungee jump divers, girl on girl makeouts, cartoons, a possessed choir singer and burning buildings that conduct the film along. In a beginning title card Pregnant boldly calls it’s self a Pop Symphony For Film, meaning a trip. This film reminds me very much of the phenomenon that greeted  either Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey or Performance by Donald Cammell, when the film’s audiences would smoke marijuana or take LSD when they sat down to watch the movie, and look forward to taking a journey into space. The same applies to Pregnant, it is more than just asking you to simply sit down and watch the movie with a bag of popcorn. Federico demands that you take the journey alongside the movie’s protagonists, call it a drug movie, but the film will leave you thrilled if watched with an open mind.

These moments are setting the viewer up to re-live and to comprehend the feeling of  todays super speed society, and the soon possibility of man being able to download consciousness through science.  Pregnant’s non-linear structure and form go hand in hand with this concept. From  what I’ve read on the film, there was no script used, the cast don’t even seem to have names,  but what is apparent is that each character represents  an amalgamation of different mythological demi-gods mixed against modern cultural celebrities. For example, we have the nihilistic frenzy of Greek mythology personalities such as Dionysus, Cupid and Herostratus, lined up against other controversial cultural icons such as Madonna, Mark Zuckerberg  & Machiavelli in order to represent  the themes of greed, Facebook celebrity, shamanism, love, and the curious one of arson, which ties closely into Federico’s own personal life. As a child he survived a house fire in 1988 ‘’Id just recently watched Godzilla, and the fire just hypnotized me’’, and recently  was a suspected in an incident involving a major car park tower burning down, which  also happens to be the very same one we see ablaze in the film.

After watching his debut Black Biscuit I understood that the chance of Pregnant being a straight forward linear film were about as slim a chance  as seeing the Dalai Lama posing for Playgirl. Federico specializes in bringing to the screen multi layered films that work on a very unique platform trick, mixing the experimental with pop art. Certain other films came to mind when I sat and watched, movies that question and challenged both the audience and their social mores, they even question the future we are headed towards. Outlaw cinema such as Easy Rider, The Passion of the Christ, Clockwork Orange, Kids, Antichrist were all ahead of their time and were lambasted upon initial release, it’s as if these films were looking ahead and predicting into a future that was too dark for people to understand, maybe it simply scared them.

Ultimately, though, it comes down to the films ‘’streamline of punk energy and attitude’’ which Federico has in abundance. Call him the Bogus Man for all his understanding’s about the other side of human nature, especially the side which we don’t usually see during the day. The way his films have come together have inspired  a certain lunatic myth in the peculiarity brought to the art of improvising and creating in a free form mold. For example editing his films blind folded, inspiring a cult behind his film productions – he was stalked by a mental institution patient -  had his cast listened to exorcisms during filming, he has also has suffered broken bones due to wanting certain film angles – he fell out of a tree - and has had footage confiscated by the police. It’s a miracle that these films, even get made at all and that he’s still alive. Alongside the fact that they are usually shot on cheap mobile phones and children’s cameras, all for Zero budget – after all, Federico is the founder of the PINK8 manifesto which has been embrace by young amateaur filmmakers.

The film leaves a lasting impression on why finding happiness through the simple things in life, such as love, sex, death and swimming are ultimately more rewarding than becoming a victim to the matrix of the internet. It is no mistake that the film interestingly points out that Scientology is going to be the new religion of our times, suggesting that people's thirst for knowledge, especially through the internet and surfing between Wikipedia, Blogs (literally millions of them), and culture sites, that we might have already embraced Scientology as our new religion without us actually realizing it yet.

In conclusion, I will let the film’s poster quote leave you to think about it all: ''If a tree falls in the forest, but no one’s there to Instagram it, did it happen at all?''

Newspaper Article - Fabrizio Federico film Black Biscuit

Fabrizio Federico, Black Biscuit

Fabrizio Federico
 

Fabrizio Federico - Official Site

Fabrizio Federico

Director Fabrizio Federico

Fabrizio Federico - Black Biscuit

Fabrizio Federico

Fabrizio Federico