Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) is best-known for his work on the basic, yet essential, principles for dealing with people successfully. His common-sense advice included never criticising, complaining about or condemning another person, giving sincere appreciation to others, and stimulating in others a specific desire, in order to motivate them. Such advice formed the basis of the best-selling book for which Carnegie has become famous, How to win friends and influence people (1936). In this text, Carnegie's simple rules on how to achieve success with people are illustrated from his own and others' experiences, and also with historical stories about people such as Roosevelt and Lincoln. Although he is mainly known for this particular book, Carnegie's career began with training people to become speakers and writing various other books. He produced some of the earliest self-improvement manuals, and these are still popular today. Carnegie's main focus is on interpersonal skills, effective communication and being a successful salesperson.
Become a Friendlier Person
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “you’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throwdown a challenge.
Be a Leader
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Principles from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry
- Live in “day-tight compartments.”
- How to face trouble:
> Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
> Prepare to accept the worst.
> Try to improve on the worst. - Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
- Get all the facts.
- Weight all the facts — then come to a decision.
- Once a decision is reached, act!
- Write out and answer the following question:
> What is the problem?
> What are the causes of the problem?
> What are the possible solutions?
> What is the best possible solution?
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
- Keep Busy.
- Don’t fuss about trifles.
- Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
- Cooperate with the inevitable.
- Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
- Don’t worry about the past.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness
- Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope.
- Never try to get even with your enemies.
- Expect ingratitude.
- Count your blessings — not your troubles.
- Do not imitate others.
- Try to profit from your losses.
- Create happiness for others.
The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry
- Pray.
Don’t Worry about Criticism
- Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
- Do the very best you can.
- Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
- Rest before you get tired.
- Learn to relax at work.
- Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
- Apply these four good working habits:
> Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
> Do things in the order of their importance.
> When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
> Learn to organize, deputize and supervise. - Put enthusiasm into your work.
- Don’t worry about insomnia.
- Think on your feet
- Develop courage & self confidence
- Increase your poise
- 'Sell' yourself & your services
- Improve your memory
- Win more friends
- Write more effective letters
- Enrich your command of English
- Read more worthwhile books
- Become a leader
- Become a more entertaining conversationalist
- Increase your income
- Inspire you with new ideas
- Develop your latent powers
- Know intimately ambitious people